Life throws us surprises every day, some good, some unfortunate, many that we won’t really understand, and know how to categorize, until some later day down the road.
I’ve been having some health issues lately, and the doctor made it official the other day – PCOS. For those who don’t know, that would be Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. Its not really deadly, more just frustrating, especially when its time to start having kids and your body and isn’t working right.
Right now the challenge is just to sort out what to do – natural vs medical intervention being the biggest issue. There are medications to try (or to not try), and natural resources all over the place, and ideas for helping, healing, patching, fixing, etc. Some things work for some people, not for others, and some things epically fail, and its a lot of time, and money, and emotion to invest in something that is a bit elusive, for a vision of health that may never be realized.
So theres a surprise for me this week.
I don’t necessarily feel super emotional about it, but I think I have this deeper layer of emotions that don’t quite know what to do with themselves. I just feel unsettled, on the verge of depressed, lonely and alone. I’m in that place within myself where I know I’m very close to shutting down, and shutting others out, and falling back within myself. And I don’t really know if I feel like reaching out to catch myself – to grab on to help – or not.